HOW TO STOP SOCIAL ANXIETY FROM RUINING YOUR LIFE
It's there, isn't it? Lurking in the background of every social situation you're in. It's the reason why you feel like everyone is staring at you when they really aren't—or maybe they are. And it's the reason you don't want to go to that party or talk to that person or go up to that stranger and start a conversation.
We've all been there, we've all had that moment where we just want the ground to swallow us up and take us away. Let’s be real, managing social anxiety can be a cluster f*ck—but the good news is by learning how to manage it, you can stop living with pain and start actually enjoying yourself in social settings.
So, WTF is social anxiety anyway?
We’ve likely all experienced it in some form or another, but for some people, it can be debilitating. Social anxiety is a real disorder where someone fears how others are perceiving them. It can hit anytime and anywhere–work, school, and even during a casual night out with friends.
What causes social anxiety?
The exact reason is unknown but experts believe it may be connected to environmental factors, genetics, or brain chemistry.
What does social anxiety feel like?
It can feel like extreme shyness, or expand all the way to social phobia. Social anxiety creates feelings of extreme worry. You might feel the intense urge to flee a situation or retreat from a conversation.
3 Quick Tricks For Handling Your Anxiety
Too late to back out of plans? Here are 3 tricks you can try right now.
Think of conversation starters and topics beforehand
If having a conversation feels daunting, plan ahead. Imagine that you're already having the conversation. You're excited to talk to this person, and you feel confident and ready. You've got some great questions lined up, or maybe even an off-the-cuff joke or story that will break the ice.
2. Keep yourself grounded.
If you're feeling stressed and anxious, it's probably because there are too many things on your mind. That's why we recommend downloading an app that tracks your breathing, as an easily-accessible way to calm yourself. This can be a great way to stay regulated in a stressful environment and feel more confident.
We recommend:
3. Start small.
If big gatherings make you feel really anxious, start with a small group of people you’re familiar with. Keep encouraging yourself to expand your limits slowly and talk to people you don’t know–but do it on your terms when you’re not alone and have at least one friend to lean on.
If the idea of social situations still causes panic, keep reading—we’ve got some proven long-term strategies to help you master the crowds (or at least be able to leave the house).
5 Strategies for Dealing with Social Anxiety
1. Mindfulness
Sometimes you just need to take a breath. Social anxiety is no joke, but we're here to help you figure out how to fight back against it, and one of the best ways we can tackle your anxiety is by looking inward.
When it comes to social anxiety, we can't stress enough how important it is to be proactive. Don't wait until you're feeling anxious to think about what might be causing your nerves—it's always better to take a proactive approach.
To help you get started on becoming more mindful, here are some tips for making time for yourself each day:
Meditate for 15 minutes a day.
This can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions so you can better manage them.
Journal for 10 minutes a day.
Writing down what's going on in your head helps you understand how you feel and process things in a healthy way.
Try a deep breathing exercise.
Doing deep breathing exercises throughout will help calm your nerves and center yourself before going into an event or situation where you're likely to feel anxious.
Create a time and place to be intentionally quiet.
This allows you to have control over your environment and gives you some space away from whatever situation may be causing anxiety at that moment.
Before you head out to an event, ask yourself these two questions:
What’s the worst that can happen?
What am I actually afraid of?
9 times out of 10, when you take time to think through these questions, you’ll realize you’re not as scared as you thought they were. And remember you control more than you think—If you’re not enjoying yourself, you can always politely excuse yourself and go home.
2. GET PHYSICAL
Want to get out of your own head? Your brain is always churning, and sometimes there's just too much going on in there. It can be nice to just focus on something else for a change.
So here's what you do: find an activity that gets your body moving. Walk instead of driving or taking the train. If you're into sports, maybe join a local league. Need more alone time? Try biking, hiking or swimming. Dance classes, pilates or yoga are also good options.
The point is that exercise can really help calm your nerves and reduce stress levels—but only if it's something that feels good for you. Don't force yourself into an activity that makes you miserable just because it seems like everyone else is doing it (holiday “fun” runners, I’m talking to you).
3. HEALTHY HABITS
If you're feeling stressed, anxious, and totally over it, a few simple changes to your daily routine can help you feel more balanced and in control of your emotions.
And here's the thing: these changes don't have to be huge or scary. They can be small steps that lead to big improvements if you keep at them.
Let's start with the obvious: getting enough sleep is key to feeling refreshed in the morning. If you're routinely getting 4-5 hours a night and think you can manage it by drinking more coffee during the day, you will quickly find that you're actually draining your energy and creating an environment that makes your body run on empty.
Another easy change? Put away any work-related sh*t at least an hour before bed and try reading or listening to a podcast instead of doom-scrolling your feed.
It hurts to say this, but you need to cut back on caffeine. It may seem like the cure-all for stress and anxiety, but too much caffeine can cause jitters and actually increase anxiety over time. We’re not saying you need to quit cold turkey, just…be more mindful of your consumption habits and notice how those Prime Energy drinks start to make you feel by mid-afternoon.
4. FIND YOUR SAFE SPACE
If you're wanting to ease into socializing again after a long break, try making a list of the people you feel most comfortable with and cultivate a known safe space. Sometimes easing into situations is better than just jumping in and hoping for the best. Take baby steps. Try inviting trusted friends or family over and allow yourself the security of getting to choose who you socialize with. Maybe even have your friends bring friends and make it a point to get to know them.
Also please remember this: there's nothing wrong with being alone sometimes!
5. THERAPY
When you’re dealing with social anxiety, it can be hard to remember that you're not alone, or that everyone deals with it differently.
Some people find affirmations and positive mantras helpful, but others don't think they work for them—especially if they're already at max anxiety. In this case, therapy is a proactive (rather than reactive) solution to social anxiety that can help you get back on track and feel better about yourself.
If you've been dealing with social anxiety for a long time, finding a therapist can seem overwhelming—our no B.S. a guide to finding a therapist has the questions to ask and steps to take to find a therapist that's the best fit for you.
Social anxiety is a very real thing, and it can creep up on you when you least expect it. While home remedies can help you get through the immediate feelings of anxiety, if you’re looking for long-term relief, it may be time to see a mental health professional.
A mental health professional can help you identify your triggers and develop strategies for coping with those triggers that work for you. They can also prescribe medications if necessary.
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