Why my husband and I don’t celebrate valentine’s day

Valentine’s Day is a beautiful day full of love, sweet expressions, and romance, but I have to say, I’m not a fan. Not because of the pink hearts and chocolate candy boxes (I like those) but because of the expectation of the holiday presents. It’s one day when we are supposed to show how much we love each other. Valentine can be a day full of pressure, whether single or married, and I’m not here for it. 

Interestingly, I thought I would love Valentine's Day when I married. I  imagined my husband and me making big romantic gestures, buying gifts, and making private getaways. We never did any of that and still don’t. I think it’s nice if couples do, but that’s not our thing, and I don’t think I’m missing out on anything. Here’s why:

We celebrate love all year round.

My husband and I are excellent at not waiting for a Feb 14th to show love and appreciation. We don’t wait for any holiday. We regularly buy flowers, cards, and gifts, so love stays at the forefront of our relationship. 

We like “personal holidays.”

There are so many other “personal holidays” where we can celebrate something special that’s just for us. We celebrate our first date, or the days we conceived our children. We reminisce on those days, laugh, get busy (if you know what I mean)  and take time to see how far we’ve come. Those days feel more special because it’s not commercialized, and no one else knows about them. They’re just for us, which allows us to have something unique and secret.

We hate crowds 

On a superficial level, we hate crowds. My husband and I are both introverts, so going to crowded restaurants or parties is not our idea of fun. We love low-key and personalized events.  The hustle and bustle of the holiday can be overwhelming and can take away from its true meaning.

We don’t like the pressure.

Interestingly, someone can be a great partner every other day of the year, but it's a problem if they don’t do something for Valentine’s Day. There’s this expectation and idea that it’s the only day that it’s essential to show love. That’s not true or healthy. I don’t want my husband to send me flowers because he’s supposed to, or it’s expected. It means more when it’s done because on a random Tuesday instead. 

We don’t need to perform.

I hate to say it, but sometimes Valentine’s Day posts and expressions of love feel performative. It’s about what can be posted or talked about with girlfriends. We don’t want to celebrate the day because we have to, but because we want to. It just so happens that we don’t feel the need to most holidays.

I used to think we were a little weird for not caring about Valentine's Day, but I noticed I’m not that much different from other people who don’t prioritize the holiday. In general, couples who are big on showing love, regardless of the day often feel the same way. Even when single people take the time to show self-love throughout the year and fill their own love tanks, they aren’t always as invested in Valentine's Day.

As I said Valentine’s Day is a beautiful day and can be special for those who choose to celebrate it. But as for the hubby and me, it’s just not our thing.