Over the past two years, a lot of us have had to retreat into our homes as our only forms of safe social interactions. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that being inside for every day of the week or special event left me still in need of self-care. Now that we are slowly opening back up the country, I’ve found it difficult to schedule in self-care because I’m so focused on seeing loved ones and having fun after social distancing for so long. However, my usual routine of a facial, a glass of wine, and a movie just wasn’t enough anymore. I began thinking, I need an oasis; a place to rejuvenate and pour back into me. I spent a few weeks asking myself “What would my oasis look like” until I realized that I needed a method that would allow me to target the big and varying parts of myself.

My oasis needed to include these areas:

1. Spiritual/Religious Connection

2. Emotional Release

3. Physical Setting

4. Mental Clarity

5. Connection with Others and Self (Familial, Friends, and Self)

6. Personal Maintenance

Keep in mind that it’s normal for one component of self-care to overlap with the others. The goal isn’t to compartmentalize each one but to allow for different activities to replenish you in as many ways as possible.

1. Spiritual/Religious Connection

This form of self-care is not necessarily about one believing in a higher power but aligning with your own sense of belonging and meaning in life. One might spend time:

• Asking questions like:

  • What is my purpose?

  • What could I do today that would bring me joy or peace?

  • What does healing look like?

• Meditating

• Praying

• Alone (without others around)

2. Emotional Release

There are so many options when it comes to letting go of different emotions or accepting a specific circumstance to attain some level of peace. Most people might choose to vent but that may not always be enough. Some other suggestions might be:

• Journaling: write until you’re tired of writing or until you’ve exhausted what you’re feeling

• Spend time outside: whether you’re just sitting in the sun, or going for a run, you’ll be surprised how a few minutes outside can refresh you 

• Listening to music

• Allow yourself to be creative: painting, coloring, sculpting, or cooking

3. Physical Setting

I’m a firm believer that your oasis should also be at least one physical location in your home. One space where you can *woosah* (take a cleansing breath). Whether it’s the couch, your bed, the feeling of a carpeted area, or sitting in that one spot where the sun pours in, find it and claim it. In case you don’t have a space in mind, I encourage you to create one! Indulge in emotional and spiritual self-care by asking yourself, “Are there any scents, fabrics, colors, etc that can help me to feel at peace after a long or tough day?” (think about the five senses). Or, take it a step further and make your whole home (or bedroom) an oasis for you! Remove the clutter, the old items you no longer need, and maybe do some DIY projects to make your space work for you.

4. Mental Clarity

Naturally, this area can be tough to keep consistent but a clear mind really can change your perspective on day-to-day responsibilities and life goals. For starters, and I can’t stress this enough, get more sleep. Not only is it crucial for your health but it really allows our brains to sift through information, emotions, and goals while we are asleep. Next, create a schedule or routine that allows you to commit to your responsibilities while balancing the regular to-do's and engagements- just don’t forget to plan some fun for yourself each week. Lastly, review your social media! Whether it’s that person from high school who you don’t really know or something random that irritates you on your timeline, make your social media YOURS! This helps your brain engage with what matters to you (and set boundaries, but, we’ll talk about that later).

5. Connection with Others and Self (Familial, Friends, and Self)

Naturally, it’s important to spend time with people you care about. Especially after being at such a distance for so long, planning when or how to see family and friends is crucial. Not only does it give you something to look forward to, but maintaining healthy relationships and support is a great way for you to feel rejuvenated. However, don’t forget to set aside time for yourself! Constantly being around others can feel suffocating or tiresome when overdone. Find joy in your sole presence by:

• Reading

• Catching up on old shows

• Playing video games

• Practicing yoga

• Sewing

• Going for a walk

6. Personal Maintenance

Personal maintenance is key! As the saying goes, “self-care isn’t just bubble baths and facials.” Personal maintenance is addressing the responsibilities we have to ourselves such as:

• Budgeting

• Attending therapy

• Eating healthy

• Consistent exercise

• Cleaning out your car

• Finding what your passionate about

Although these are just a few suggestions, the focus is all about how you can be secure in your responsibilities and in yourself.

Be kind to yourself when attempting to apply each area to your life! It takes about 30 days to sustain a new habit. It’s okay if it takes longer but the hope is that you remember to do this to replenish you! That’s the only way to really be there for others but, more importantly, be there for yourself. If it’s helpful, write down activities per area that interest you just in case you have a rough day and just don’t know what you need until you read it. That’s the only way to really be there for others but, more importantly, be there for yourself.