Confessions of a Sex Worker
Over the last few years, content creating has grown to new heights and has shape-shifted into many forms. As we scroll through our social media timelines, we see posts ranging from inspirational quotes to lifestyle gurus to sex work. What was once taboo is now a means of income. But how? How do content creators whose platforms revolve around intimacy and passion make it happen? We spoke with Daddy Ursa to learn the ins and outs of the game, and we learned quite a bit!
Do you refer to yourself as a sex worker?
I use the phrase content creator. Sex work itself isn't necessarily my main source of income. Currently, I'm choosing to create content as I see fit. I’ve been creating this content now for five years and, naturally, your niche and focus changes over time. Everyone is different though. Some may use that term and others may choose another way to define themselves.
How would you define your content now?
I’ve transitioned my work. I’m now creating more content with the focus of being a sensual dom. I want to share content that looks like kissing, hugging, holding hands, allowing the other person to be soft in a sexual context. My content now revolves around soft intimacy; content you don’t typically see but we all need in our lives.
What brought you to this type of work?
I noticed that I enjoyed watching videos and reading stories. I think back to watching HBO After Dark or Cinemax After Dark. Those were my first highlights into porn and the industry. I've always had that itch to watch people and to be watched and I always enjoyed the theatrics of recording. There’s something about being able to go back and rewatch your work that just looks cool on camera.
What led you to creating an OnlyFans account?
I was introduced to it by an acquaintance. She hit me up about wanting to create content together and this was well before OnlyFans grew to the level it’s reached now. She suggested that we could make some videos together and I decided to give it a try! My only thoughts at the time were, “OK, why not? Sounds fun, I can try it at least.” This all started as a hobby at first. It wasn't anything serious to me at the time. I began to create some content and then fans popped up. I started to think, “I’ll try creating this because it’s different.” All I did was continue to try different types of content and I was able to see what my audience liked. It’s been two years since I first created my account and I’m continuing to grow. At the end of the day, people will respond in different ways because it's all different types of art.
Behind the scenes, how do you decide what’s worthy of sharing with the world?
When you’re home alone, you can make almost any video; take your phone, set up somewhere, and record a quick solo video. It may not be the best quality or angle and it might all be POV (point of view) shots unless you have a tripod set up. For me, doing solo content is a little bit different because I like to get myself into a certain mood. I need to feel attracted to myself and if you’re someone who struggles with being attracted to themselves and you’re making solo content, it can get pretty tough to turn out quality content. Yes, you could easily record a masturbation video, but in the grand schemes of things, you have to ask yourself if this will keep your viewers’ attention.
What’s your process when choosing to work with other creators?
Once you actually work with people, and you have an actual team, it’s fun. For instance, I’ve had the pleasure of working with Madame Carmen and It’s Moe Duh. Working with co-artists and having someone else record you, is a lot different because there’s typically a plan laid out. We sit down and talk about who will do what and how each scene should be done. Everyone is aware of how the video and artists should look. You record it for a bit, take a little break, go back and watch it, then you re-work certain shots or angles. It does make the process take a bit longer but having someone else take over the camera or direction can help produce a higher level of content. It’s cool to go back and watch it too. At first, it’s a weird feeling. I remember thinking, “Wait, that was me? This is, this is what we look like from somebody else's point of view?” Also, some artists have a booking fee. That’s normal. In this line of work, some people will want to waste your time or use you for their content. Some creators are willing to trade content instead of enforcing a booking fee. You have to weigh who you want to work with, what you’re looking to create and the purpose. That will tell you what type of process you need. Just remember that you have to know your price. There’s a lot of money out there but there might not be enough money in the world to do what others might request of you.
How do you go about developing your team?
At the beginning, a lot of folks feel that they need to just go out and hook up with anybody to make content and some people jump into this work to have a lot of sex with a lot of people. However, it’s not like that for me. I’ve learned that I can't necessarily work with everybody. I have to build some type of connection with you for us to get amazing content. If I were to choose any random person, the viewers might feel that the content was lifeless because it probably would be. There wouldn’t be any spontaneity. The truth is, I’d be me coming to do a job and then going about my day. Building that connection with someone has been important for me when developing my team and platform. I like to communicate with the other artist(s), even if we just talk every now and then and catch up before the shoot. We still plan the content but it’s important to make sure that everyone involved has broken the ice. Every intentional interaction creates more intimate content and adds to the sexual chemistry.
How old were you when you started this type of content creation?
I was 26 when I started with Pornhub. I began recording videos when I was around 19 though, which was before “content creating” started. Recording myself and my time with others has always intrigued me and I finally decided to just do it. However, I didn’t make money from my content until I was 26.
Do you remember feeling nervous about uploading this type of content at first?
I wasn't nervous about it because a lot of people I know weren’t on the platforms I was using. I was never one to really put my business out there for people to casually scroll across. I knew exactly where I wanted to upload my content. My main content space is Twitter, that's where I posted everything. Instagram always gets a sneak peak, but I only post that to my close friends group. My Facebook followers don’t know the depth of it. Facebook may get a thirst trap picture, but for people who know me and who I’ve been connected to on Facebook for years are used to thirst trap pictures. Close family and friends don't know that this is what I actually do. The ones that do find out are always surprised and I’ve only received accolades for my work.
I must ask: have you had a conversation with your parents at any point since becoming Big Daddy Ursa?
I believe my mom has an idea of what I do, but she doesn't fully know what it is. My dad, on the other hand, has no clue at all. I think, my mom being my mom, she doesn’t even want to think about her baby having sex. In her mind, I'm just out here shacking up and laying down and she doesn't understand it. I’m okay with that, though.
How do you network within this line of work?
Social media is a great way to network and use your platforms. Platforms like Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Fetlife. Fetlife is like a Facebook for fetishes. You can meet like-minded people there that have very similar fetishes as you do. There’s websites for specific kinks and sexualities too. Another networking opportunity would be to attend the kink conventions like Exxxotica. If you aren’t sure whether this is the work for you, going to events like this will tell you if you’re ready. When you go, stop and talk to people, share your platform with them and interact with theirs too. That’s the easiest way to begin networking.
Can you share any tips for someone looking to become this type of content creator?
Know your price and your worth.
Make sure you know what should be happening before anyone starts recording. Once it’s recorded, it could be out of your control when the work is distributed. Contracts are standard, so don’t be afraid to make one and have everyone sign it.
Create a watermark and put it on everything you make or are a part of; you don’t want anyone stealing your content.
Get tested regularly. Getting tested after each sexual interaction is ideal, but definitely get tested before working with anyone else. The worst scenario is if someone were to accuse you of passing something to them and you don’t have proof that you were clear after being tested.
Find your niche so you’re producing quality content and not wasting your energy.
Don’t be too afraid to try new things; you might find your niche that way.
Content creating can become pricey very quickly if you’re not careful. You might need a device with more storage, or lighting equipment so your content is better. You will see what others are doing, the conventions that are available, or products that can take you to the next level, but how will you afford it?
Balance your work life and home life. If you’re in any type of a relationship, make sure you have open communication with them about your work. It is possible to be in a relationship and do this work with others, and/or with your partner(s). Be sure to draw a boundary. Otherwise, you’re bringing your work home and your home to work.
Take care of yourself. Content creating can bear weight on you mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. Eating clean, drinking water regularly, sleeping well, working out, getting tested, and planning your content out can remove some of the toll.
You will get random hate from random people. This is still a taboo line of work. People will bash you and it isn’t fair and no one deserves it, but finding your community can make a world’s difference.
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